Monday, February 6, 2012

Marriage Monday....Do you remember?

When she described the proposal, she was glowing. He led her to the back porch. Awkwardly, he pretended that wildlife had appeared and his eagle eyes were the only ones to see it. When he tried to point it out to her, she turned around to this.

He had perfectly orchestrated the moment. Music, lights and real fireworks. Thankfully she said "yes". For the rest of their lives, they will never forget the Christmas Eve of 2011.

This couple will be married next summer and they have a few years before they have to worry about the newness wearing off.

I wanted to include the challenge from Marriage Monday and encourage you to visit the blogs of other contributors. The hostess, Chrysalis, emails an invite to participants a few days before Monday. This week's topic has been brewing for a few weeks. In fact since Christmas. Below is a portion of her invitation.
Life certainly has its ups and downs—it has busy, exciting times and slow, dull, normal times. Marriage is the same way. Remember when we were young and full of love? It seemed that we never ran out of new things to discover with (and about) each other.
After a few years of "wedded bliss" however, sometimes a depressing sameness can settle in. Unfortunately, keeping family life running smoothly (and paying for it all) takes so much energy that many couples have nothing left over for their friendship. During those stress-filled seasons, boredom and apathy can easily infect a marriage. Have you been there? Are you there now? What are you doing to inject fresh vitality into your relationship?
Please share your wisdom with us next week. Plan to gather at Chrysalis once again for Marriage Monday on Feb. 6, 2012.
As always, I welcome linkers in all ages and stages of married life: old, young, seasoned and newlywed. This time, I would especially love to read your insights if you've been married for over ten years. Please join us!

My thoughts on avoiding complacency and the marriage doldrums. One word:

Remember the things that first attracted you to your husband. Was it his strong faith? His great looks? His kind actions? His bold witnessing? His sports ability? The way his treated his family? His great sense of humor? Whatever is was that first caught your eye and kept it, think on these things. Don't fall into the pattern of dwelling on his faults, shortcomings or things he lacks. Avoid fiction or film that glamorizes or fictionalizes other men. This will poison your attitude and demotivate you in making your own effort to improve your marriage.
Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.          Philippians 4:8
To follow my own advice, I just take a look at my sweet hubby in this photo and my heart still goes pitter-patter. It's not just the hunk in the uniform, it's the memories we had that day.

Remember the vows you made. When we were married about 10 years, we had some tough times. I made this plaque using my computer, stationary and a simple frame. I know the Gman appreciates it. Currently, he displays it right by his bedside. It's important to remember why we say those words. Hard times will come. Finances, sickness and family conflicts and a host of other hardships. This vow acknowledges yes, they are going to happen and declares that I will be there for them, resisting the fight or flight urge that tempts everyone.

Remember God. Whether you married in the faith or came to know God after your marriage, God will help. If you feel like things are dull and want to break out of that rut, pray about it. Ask God to help you appreciate your spouse, pray for him, and believe that things can change. 

Remember, you will not always have a home full of kids, bills and stress. Perhaps you need inspiration for a date night, or just the commitment to having a date night. God willing, you will be growing old together and the best is yet to come.

Thanks for stopping by,

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Denise said...

Such a nice post.

Mac an Rothaich said...

I totally agree. When I take the time to look at my man, look deep and see the guy I fell in love with I don't know the meaning of the word apathy:) Thanks for sharing!

Tami said...

Mmmm . . . a great word. Remember. So true. Thank you.

Susannah said...

Awesome, awesome, awesome. This is a fantastic post, TerriG! Good advice!

Many years ago, and long before I met my husband, I read a Christian book on marriage that expounded on the same theme you have: Remember. (At the time it was very comforting, since my parents had just divorced.)

The author showed how Rev 2:4-5 can be applied to our human relationships:

"You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first."

If we think back on all the things that first attracted us to our spouse, and repeat the things we loved doing together, then we're well on the way out of any boredom and apathy that might have settled in.

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today!

Blessings, e-Mom

Constance said...

Okay, so I have to ask: Does you Hub do Civil War reenactment? He looks like he's wearing a Union uniform and I ask the question because our daughter, when she was in High School did CW Reenactments with her Venturing Crew. She earned her Corporal stripes and even had her own cannon crew. (She was in the 6th Texas Calvary, dismounted.) Those were great times! Dave and I would try to go to one or two of her reenactments a season, even making a weekend getaway out of it, if possible.

I have to agree about movies and fiction poisoning our attitudes about our husbands. I quit reading that "bodice-clutching" stuff many years ago. I think the more I remember what attracted us in the first place and meditate on it, I become very protective of the intimate things I know about Dave that no one else does!

Thanks for sharing!

ssmurray5 said...

Thanks for the reminder!

TerriG said...

That picture was from a "Civil War Day" we participated in with our homeschool group. It was a fantastic event and we have many fond memories of those days.