Monday, March 22, 2010

Welcome To Our Home or Money Pit Monday

Five years ago we bought a fixer upper. Even before this move, I had held a personal false doctrine about H-E-double hockey sticks. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that unrepentant sinners would find themselves in a place of torment that would include perpetual home improvement, bladder infections and head lice. Now after 5 years, I still cling to this notion. But when I am witnessing to someone, I am careful not to mention it. Can you imagine this conversation?

"Excuse me, I'm concerned about where you will spend eternity?"


"Do you realize there is no Home Depot, antibiotics or Nix shampoo down there?"

Oh silly me, where was I?

My money pit beautiful home. That's right. Since today is Monday, I decided in my bloggy world it is o.k. to complain. I know the Gman would rather I whine here, than to him. Besides, he has already left for work.  As long as I have someone who will listen, it's o.k. I am coming off the weekend of not accomplishing 3% of my home improvement goals, so it is fresh wound. I did make my list and all I can say is my hand ached afterward. It's 3 pages long.

A few snowstorms ago we had a literal money pit experience. Our pit became a $5000 pit. 

We have an in-ground pool, with a liner that has more holes in it than a spaghetti strainer. Gravity is not our friend. The pool was closed for the season, but the water level continued to drop. In this lovely snowstorm, the green cover was blanketed with a few tons of snow. That tore and fell into the pool. I can still hear the sounds z$z$z$zRRRIIIIPPP$z$z$z$z$. 

So, Gman being the do it yourself type of guy, with the help of mattyG, shoveled the pool deck, removed the pegs holding the torn cover and shoveled off the winter cover before it froze into the swamp.

Gman then had to spread the cover out to dry and pray that it didn't freeze onto the lawn. The winter cover will have to be sent to someone with a sewing machine and a large work area for repairs. Did I ever mention how much I do not like to sew?                              
My personal motto is I do not sew, I throw.Now we need to replace the pool liner for somewhere in the ballpark of 4 G's. No problem, just cash in my IRA. Oh what do you mean I already did? Oh, just sell one of the kids? O.k. we'll draw straws.

It gets prettier...
This weekend little guy had a friend over. They decided since it was so nice out, they needed to see if they water was warm. I look out the window to see little guy wet from the chest down. Thankfully, his friend had enough sense not to try to walk into the green water.  In case you were wondering kids, if it is green and slimy, 95% of the time it is slippery. 

Unless it is guacamole, don't go near it.

Until spring really springs around here, I have swamp front property. My thoughts of my 5 year-old having his birthday party here are crushed. Unless of course we have another Star Wars themed one with a Gungan Swamp.

I will restrain myself and not sell my children.  Perhaps I can stand at a traffic light and hold a sign up, "Will work for pool liner." I can understand if there is no pity to be found. I feel the same way about the rich people who trusted Bernie Madoff. I just needed to get this rant off my chest. I feel better now.

In the meantime, I'll just treasure my memories. Remember when the only thing in my backyard that was green was the grass? Thanks for stopping by,
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Linds said...

when we bought our first house I REFUSED to purchase a fixer upper. I just can't handle the constant fixing that CONSUMES both your time AND money.

Anonymous said...

This is too funny!!

But I fear our next house will probably be the same way!

Lizzie said...

Oh that rots Terri. I hear you though, we bought a handyman's special ourselves as you know. Right there in big bold print right above the only price we could afford.
And so it goes.
Really missed you Saturday!

Erica K. Louis said...

Serious it is... what i could say to make you feel better?!
We'll this will soon be over, whether the problem likes it or not, you'll eventually see it getting over with it.
Stay happy, simply find your post very interesting.

k mack said...

knowing will find just the right size liner on Craigs list at some point this summer. The cleanup problem at this point I am sure is unavoidable . Give me the exact dimentions and i will watch for the item at yard sales and online...we love a challenge.
you ,by the way, are a very enjoyable writer...